"Even when it's obvious what someone meant by their custom license plate, I enjoy coming up with silly alternatives that also fit."

"I really hate missions with Husks. #MassEffect"

"Seeing as it's just me eating tonight, I'll be having spinach wilted in apple cider and butter and pasta dressed with oil and sardines."

"All the costume-building material I ordered is in, so now I just need to get off my butt and clean the craft room so I have a place to work."

"Ten years ago I bought a pair of men's cargo shorts because there were no good ones for girls. Here I am a decade later. #Ijustwantpockets"

"If you enjoy quirky game shows, @NPRAskMeAnother may be right up your alley. #ff"

"Dal palak with basmati rice makes an awesome lunch :)"

"The SweetFrog near my house is combining @wizzer2801's and my deepest fears: frogs and people in oversized mascot heads. #notagoodpromotion"

"I always forget how insanely long Kashmir is."

"I think http://t.co/klXkUyTV would be great for serving soup, but that probably makes it less funny."